


Paper Hearts

by Isotope



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Artist!Harry, Au- University, Doctor!Liam, M/M, Minor Violence, Photographer!Louis, Writer!Niall, artist!zayn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-22
Updated: 2012-12-22
Packaged: 2017-11-21 23:33:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/603278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isotope/pseuds/Isotope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis is a photographer searching for beauty, Niall is a writer with a broken mind, Zayn is a rebellious painter who doesn't express his feelings, Liam is a potential doctor trying to hold everyone together and Harry is an artist that floats around just because he can. This is the story of how they all meet and became the most important things in each other's life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Paper Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like it, it took awhile to write. Definitely my longest piece yet.

Paper Hearts

 

 

 

Louis walks down the road, taking photos as he goes. He’s in his hometown of Doncaster, smiling away at the people he once knew. They smile back, in faint recognition as he stops them and asks if he can take their picture. They nod and go back to whatever they were doing, trying not to take notice of how Louis picks the oddest angle and takes the pictures. When he’s done, they ask for a copy, which Louis promises to mail them.

 

He continues down the road, it’s snowing in late December and he smiles thinking about Christmas and what it must be like for his mates. When he gets home, he plugs in his camera and downloads all the pictures onto his laptop, sorting them into ones he wants and ones he doesn’t. He makes folders for where each one as come from, date included. He sends them to the ones who requested them and then starts editing. The ironic thing is, is that while everything else in Louis’s life is a mess, his love life, most of his friendships, his room, his family, but his photography is the only thing that’s organized and sorted.

 

He doesn’t finish for a while, but at around midnight his mother sneaks in with two cups of tea and he takes one gratefully. He turns around in his desk chair and faces his mum who is comfortably sitting on his bed.

 

“So,” She said taking a sip and smiling, waiting for her son to say something.

 

“So,” he says back, smiling.

 

“Find anything interesting today?” She asked, nodding towards the computer.

 

“A few things… nothing special though.” He sighed, “I’m just editing them for my portfolio, my prof wants something by the beginning of next year.” His mom nodded, understandingly.

 

“Of course,” She said looking away. Louis could tell that something was bothering his mother so he slid off the chair and curled up beside her,

 

“Is something wrong?”

 

“No, darling, nothing,” She said back hesitantly. She ran her hands through his hair and said, “Just going to miss you when you go back to London tomorrow, that’s all.”

 

“You could come for Christmas?” He suggested but she shook her head and he sighed. He knew that she and the girls were going to spend Christmas with Robbie, Jay’s new husband. Louis didn’t like him much and the feeling was mutual so the minute Louis could, he moved out. And unfortunately, the hatred for each other grew so much that they couldn’t be around each other, even on holidays. The arrangement now was that Louis would come a few days before Christmas and then leaves before _actual Christmas_ so that Robbie could stay in the house again.

 

“I wish you two didn’t fight like you do, can’t you two get over it, just for a Christmas? And your birthday?” She asked, cupping his face and looking into his blue eyes’. Louis looked away; he knew it always hurt his mother to look at him because he resembled his Dad so much. Whenever she did, he always felt guilty so he looked away, to stop his heart from shattering in two.

 

“I’m sorry,” Louis said, shaking his head, “He still wants my head on a silver platter.”

 

She pursed her lips and said, “Don’t forget your gifts this time, the girls were upset when you left them behind last time.”

 

“I’ll remember.” He said as he put the tea to the side, not feeling like drinking it anymore and instead let his mum keep her warm, tight around him until he fell asleep. He felt like a five year old again and it was lovely.  

 

+

 

He went downstairs the next morning, rubbing his eyes when he was seized by the shirt and spread up against the wall.

 

“What the fuck are you still here for, homo?” Robbie glared at him as he spat in his face.

 

Louis glared at him, wanting to kick him in the balls but his legs were being pressed up against the wall and he couldn’t move, “I’m leaving today. At 3.”

 

“No,” he said roughly, pushing him towards the door, “You’re leaving now.”

 

“Can I at least get my stuff? Or would you like to explain to my mom why everything is still there and she has a frozen son sitting at the train station.” He growled at him just as he was about to be flung out the door. Robbie hesitated but dropped him, letting him scramble upstairs to grab his stuff.

 

He packed rather quickly; Robbie stood at the doorframe and watched him go. Lottie squeezed past him, which made him leave, but only for a few minutes. She helped him pack silently, being the oldest girl and the one to take care of them while Louis was gone, she was rather mature for her age. In between all the clothes, she stuck the presents that she knew Robbie wouldn’t let Louis take with him. In his opinion, gay people shouldn’t get Christmas presents.

 

“I don’t understand why you don’t tell mom,” Lottie said as she zipped up the last of the bags.

 

“Because for some unknown reason, she’s happy with him,” Louis said softly, “And like hell if I’m getting in between that.”

 

“But she loves you too, Lou,” Lottie said.

 

“Lottie, don’t tell her okay? You saw how lonely she was after Dad passed and now… this is really the only shot she’s got at having a husband. And it’s not like he treats her bad.”

 

“But he treats you bad which is the same thing.”

 

“It’s really not, I can handle myself. Will you be alright?”

 

“We always are, Louis.” She said, tilting her head to one side, “I just wish you’d come home.”

 

“I have school.”

 

“Yeah, but home for all of the holiday’s, not just half.” She said as she hugged her brother before going back to check on the twins. Louis said a good bye to everyone and Lottie promised to tell Jay that Louis said bye.

 

He glared at Robbie on his way out as he headed towards the train station, already frozen to the core.

 

+

 

He walked into his apartment screaming, “HARRY, NIALL, GET ME DRUNK.” Only to see Harry and Niall sprawled out on the carpet, smiling like fools. Niall held up a glass filled with beer and Louis took it as he dumped his bags on the ground.

 

“Here,” He slurred, “Drink.”

 

He sat down and downed it in one sitting before grabbing a vodka shot that Niall had just poured.

 

“Are you sure you can hold your liquor?” Harry threw his head back and laughed as Louis took the shot and scowled,

 

“Another.”

 

“You sure, mate?” Niall smiled but he poured anyways before clasping his hand over his shoulder and leaning in, “Not a good visit?”

 

Louis just shrugged before downing the shot and asking for another. Niall poured it, smiling as he did and taking it for his own. Then he poured one for Louis.

 

And another

And another

And another

 

Until they were all passed out on the ground and Harry was curled up beside Louis, smiling. Niall was smiling as he stared up at the ceiling, half a beer clutched to his chest.

 

+

 

Louis woke up with a splitting headache and a stomach that wouldn’t keep anything down. He staggered to the bathroom, wrenching in the toilet when he was suddenly pulled up and pushed away so that Niall could release the contents of his stomach. He fell down beside the toilet, panting and with a sweat.

 

“Why…” He murmured, “Why did we do that last night?”

 

“Because we’re stupid as fucks.” Louis responded, “Where’s Harry?”

 

They heard a groan from the living room and they both laughed, “Never again…”

 

“Never again,” Niall repeated before wrenching into the toilet. Louis crawled over and threw up beside Niall. They put their hands on each others back, helping on another up.

 

They stumbled into Louis bedroom and Harry crawled into the bathroom. Niall fell down on the bed and curled up into a ball. Louis fell down beside him and put his face in the nape of Niall’s neck.

 

They fell asleep, stomachs twisting and turning.

 

+

 

They woke up to someone banging around in their apartment. Niall got up, confused, before scampering to the kitchen after smelling something good. Louis got up, resting his head on the headboard before he picked up a glass of water. He gulped it down and slowly made his way to the kitchen.

 

Harry was standing there, head hung as he made the eggs while Niall who suddenly seemed a lot better, sat across the island with a napkin around his neck and a fork and knife in each hand.

 

“Faster, Hazza, faster!” He grinned and Louis flicked off the lights, they were hurting his eyes. But the darkness didn’t bother Harry or Niall.

 

“…Aren’t you supposed to be in Ireland?” He asked Niall once his head stopped spinning.

 

“Mm…” He said, “But Greg’s back so I decided maybe I shouldn’t…”

 

“Oh Nialler,” Louis said wrapping his arm around one of his best friends, “Niall… Niall…”

 

“I’m not upset,” He said, actually sounding quiet happy but Louis knew that that wasn’t always the case, “I’ll be fine. In fact…” He said, “Harry hurry up with the eggs, I have a meeting.”

 

“What? Its break, who could you possibly be meeting?” Harry asked as he tossed on egg into the pan and stirred it around. How they were all standing, was a miracle.

 

“Liam,” He licked his lips, “I have some work I need to go over with him…”

 

“Who’s this Liam, fellow?”

 

“Yeah and when do we get to meet him?” Harry asked, waving the spatula around before poking at the eggs.

 

“Dunno and he’s just a friend.” Niall shrugged forgetting about the eggs and grabbing an apple and running to his room.

  
“Last time someone used that line they were fucking the prof!” Louis called as he looked at a very red Harry.

 

“What? Caroline was hot.”

 

Louis just smiled at him and took the plate of eggs, “Do you think they’re going down to the Little Café?”

 

“I don’t know, ask, why?”

 

“Because then we can always crash and meet this Liam fellow our self.” Louis smirked.

 

“Let’s go!” Harry’s eyes sparkled with the mischief that Louis loved. He nodded towards Niall who was struggling to put on a pair of pants and when he finally got them on.

 

“Where are you going?” He asked, raising one eyebrow as he put his snapback on his head.

 

“To wherever you are!” Louis said grabbing his coat, “I’m suddenly feeling _so_ much better.”

 

“You two are insane,” Niall said, “And you’re most certainly not!”

 

“Just try and stop us!” Harry said, looming over Niall who instantly gave in, sighing,

 

“Alright then, get changed. I don’t think Cher would appreciate you walking in half naked and smelling like puke.” 

 

They both grinned triumphantly as they bounded to their room.

 

+

 

When they all got to the café, Niall said, “You’re acting as though I’m on a date!”

 

“You’re our baby,” Harry cooed, “We have to protect you.”

 

“You’re younger than me,” Niall retorted, pinching his cheeks, “I should be looking out for you not the other way around.”

 

“I’m not that young!” He huffed.

 

“First year university, Haz, yes you are.” He said, “That’s when you make your biggest mistakes.” Louis laughed.

 

“Yeah, and what’s third year for?” Harry asked, shooting a look at Louis.

 

“Making concrete mistakes,” He smirked as he walked towards a booth. They all sat down, fiddling with the menus when Cher, one of their friends came over and said,

 

“Waffles and tea?”

 

“Of course!” Niall beamed at her, “What else?”

 

Cher laughed and went away with their order when Louis felt his phone buzz. He ignored it and instead leaned over to pinch Harry’s cheeks. Harry blushed furiously and Niall hummed a tune under his breath while he waited patiently for his food.

 

“Share,” She said sternly as she brought over the plate and set it down. She put the tea’s in front of the boys, adding an extra cup before winking at Niall who blushed and stared down at his lap. Louis gave him a confused look but he just shrugged as he pulled out his books.

 

One raven-haired boy and a buzz cut boy walked over to where they were sitting.

 

“Hey,” The buzz cut said, smiling. Louis smiled back politely while Harry looked each boy up and noticeably checking him out. The thing was with Harry is that he didn’t care if you were a boy or a girl, if you were hot and available, he’d try to hit on you. That’s how Louis and Harry first met when Louis gently turned him down and instead they have a beautiful friendship.

 

The raven-haired boy just smirked back at Harry, wagging his eyebrows suggestively.

 

Niall cleared his throat and said, “Don’t mind these two. Liam, Zayn, these are my two absolutely annoying friends, Louis and Harry.” He leaned forward and whispered to Zayn, “Harry hits on anything with two legs.”

 

“Oh?” Zayn said, raising one eyebrow at Harry who just grinned, not embarrassed at all. “Got a lot of cheek then?”

 

“That’s not all,” Harry winked and Niall just groaned.

 

“I’m Liam,” Liam said to them, before nudging Zayn.

 

“Zayn,” He replied before turning to Liam, “I’ll see you back the flat, yeah?”

 

“Course.” Liam grinned. “Oh wait, did you remember to bring the book for Niall?”

 

“Oh fuck,” He muttered, looking at the blond hair boy, “I’m sorry, I forgot the book of poems. I’ll run it by your place later, yeah?”

 

“Sure,” Niall said easily, “No problem mate.” Zayn ducked his head before leaving the café.

 

Louis got up out of the booth and let Liam in so that he could sit across from Niall.

 

“So you are joining us for a little English lesson, huh?” Liam smiled at the two, not bothered at all.

 

“I’m sorry if they ask stupid questions…” Niall said.

 

“No problem, I don’t mind.” Liam said, still smiling. Louis regarded him with such curiosity, he hadn’t met a person who smiled as much as this, contrary to what everyone thought, Niall wasn’t always beaming and grinning like he liked everyone to think he was. Louis wondered when he’d get to see a frown.

 

“Yeah,” Louis said, “I need some candids of Niall. He never sits still love enough… maybe you can get him too?”

 

Niall flashed an award-winning smile at Louis who captured it with his small camera. Harry took out his sketchbook and started doing a small pencil work of Cher who was working behind the counter.

 

“Let’s start with the creative piece, yeah?” Liam asked as he turned to Niall.

 

“Okay,” Niall said, squinting at the paper, “Lets.”

 

+

 

After about an hour and Harry and Louis filtering in and out of the booth (Harry to go chat up some girls and guys while Louis was taking some pictures… he even snapped a few of Liam while he wasn’t looking) Louis said,

 

“So why are you here on campus during your holidays?”

 

Liam looked up from the paper in surprise and said, “I’m studying to be a doctor, so I decided to stay on campus for Christmas.”

 

“Doesn’t really answer the question…” Louis muttered.

 

“But you’re helping Niall with English…” Harry said, confused.

 

“Yeah,” Liam just smiled, “My minor is English.”

 

“Ironic, a minor helping a major…” Louis grumbled, “Are you quiet finished? I want to go home.”

 

“You can leave any time you want,” Niall said, looking up and taking the last bite of the waffle, “But yes I am. Same time tomorrow, Liam?”

 

“Of course,” He said, smiling as he sipped his tea, “See you tomorrow. Bye Louis, Bye Harry.”

 

They waved and walked back.

 

They walked in silence towards their apartment that they all shared. Harry was technically supposed to live in the dorms but he spent so much time with Louis and Niall that he basically lived there. So they convinced his dorm advisor in the second month of knowing him if he could leave the dorm and stay with them. He agreed and they moved him out the next day. It was a lot easier to handle rent with the three of them there.

 

When they got to the apartment, Niall said, “So now you met him. What do you think?”

 

“He’s cool,” Harry, said, “A little bit too smart, but cool.”

 

“How can someone be too smart?” Louis asked as he propped himself up on the kitchen counter.

 

“Because he’s going to be a doctor and have a minor in English… seems very ambitious to me.”

 

“So he’s ambitious, not too smart.” Niall corrected who sat down on the couch, “What did you think Louis?”

 

“So you want my opinion? Why?” Louis smirked as he gestured to Harry to give him a beer. Harry passed it to him when Niall said,

 

“Get me one too. And I don’t care, just Harry gave his opinion but I thought you might want to voice yours too.”

 

“I don’t really have an opinion of him. Curious fellow,” Louis said, “Always smiling and happy. But I’ve only met him once so maybe next time he can make an impression.”

 

“Next time?” Niall said, looking up from the couch and sighing, “You plan to crash more?”

 

“Yeah,” Louis said, “Or maybe we could all hang out. Any friend of yours is a friend of mine!” Louis grinned before saying, “But his buzz cut scares me a bit.”

 

“He used to have nice hair,” Niall remembered, “Curly hair, not like Harry’s. But it was nice and then he straightened it and then styled it to a quiff, like Zayn’s. Then when I came back this year it was a buzz cut.”

 

“You remember his hair?”

 

“I’ve known him for three years.”

 

“How are we only meeting him now?” Harry said.

 

“Because I met you like two months ago.”

 

“What about me?” Louis said, “Why haven’t I heard of him.” Niall shrugged,

 

“You never really asked where I was going, mate,” He sent him an empathic look. Louis’s shoulders sagged but Niall said, “Doesn’t matter, now you’ve met him.”

 

“Curious how you remember his hair,” Harry said, changing the subject slightly, “Are you in love with him?”

 

“What?” Niall gasped, “That’s insane, Haz, you’re officially off your rocker.”

 

“You like him at least,” Louis said, coming towards the couch.

 

“Yeah, he’s my mate.” Niall said, “Nothing more, nothing less and please don’t turn this into one of these, ‘You’re in love with him Nialler,’ because I’ve had enough of those talks over the years.” He glared a Louis who just shrugged and Harry who laughed.

 

“Alright, we’ll leave it alone… for now.” Harry winked. Niall’s phone went off and he instantly lit up before typing out a response, which made his face fall.

 

Then Harry’s phone went off and he smirked, “See you around kids.”

 

“Don’t say that,” Louis said, groaning and falling to one side, “It makes me feel old.”

 

“How…”

 

“I don’t know it just does.” Louis said, exasperated before taking another swing of his beer.

 

Harry just laughed before disappearing out the door again. Louis settled beside Niall on the couch when Niall said,

 

“So how was your visit back?”

 

“Fine.” He said curtly, he really didn’t want to talk about it. The blond just nodded and took a swig of his beer.

 

“Got any pictures?”

 

“Sure.” Louis said, getting up and grabbing his computer. They settled on the floor while Niall flicked through the pictures, face getting happier and happier as he went through each one.

 

“Oh, the girls are so grown up!” He said, reminiscing, “I remember when they were so tiny!”

 

Louis laughed; he’d forgotten how much time Niall had spent around the Tomlinson house. He was basically a Tomlinson except for the fact that he was Irish. Niall’s family had come to Doncaster when Niall was about 6, one year younger than Louis.

 

“They miss you, you know,” Louis said, “You should come back and visit them sometime.” He paused, “Mum misses you too.”

 

“I’m sure she does,” He said lightly, “I was always her favourite son.”

 

“Yeah,” Louis laughed, “You were.” He added softly.

 

+

 

Harry came stomping through the doorway at around 11 o’clock, face stretched in a smile that went from cheek to cheek. Neither boy needed to ask where Harry was all this time. They knew, having sex with someone. And neither of them wanted any details.

 

At around 12, whenever everyone had crashed except for Louis, he grabbed his camera and went outside. It was cold so he put on a jacket before wondering the empty streets, taking pictures of anything that caught his eye.

 

He went down a lane he’d never gone before and entering a tunnel. He walked in a few feet when he saw a light and started heading towards it.

 

“Who’s there?” A vaguely familiar voice asked, anger rising through it. Louis flicked on his phone light and shined it on his face,

 

“Just me.”

 

The other person’s light flashed up and Louis saw Zayn’s face. It twitched with amusement.

 

“Hi Louis,” He smiled before turning back to the wall, flashing the light on it.

 

“What are you doing?” Louis asked as he stepped forward, carefully, scared that he was going to anger Zayn again.

 

Zayn laughed, “I’m painting, you can come closer you know, I wont hurt you. I was just scared it would be someone who’d rat me to the cops. You won’t right?”

 

“Of course not,” Louis said, looking at the wall and shining his light on it, “It’s awesome.”

 

Zayn shrugged, it wasn’t his best work but it wasn’t his worst either. It was words, terms he’d coined up when he was high, low and everywhere in between. You could make out some and others you couldn’t. They were in a variety of fonts and different languages too. But the only thing that mattered was that they were all connected.

 

Louis raised his camera and Zayn gave him a slight nod, letting him take a picture. It wasn’t perfect, the lighting was off and it was an awkward angle but it fit the piece perfectly. Because it wasn’t perfect, it was written on a tunnel wall in darkness.

Zayn started to slowly pack up his paint while Louis clicked pictures of the other artwork in the tunnel.

 

“This all yours?”

 

Zayn shook his head, “No, other artists, rebels, whoever. Anyone can come here and do whatever.” He took out a brush and dipped it into a paint can that was still lying out before writing something on the wall.

 

_Louis and Zayn_

_2012_

Louis took a picture of that too before helping Zayn put everything in the back. Zayn then flung it over his shoulder and started walking out, with Louis by his side.

 

“Can I see more of your work?” He asked tentatively. Zayn just looked at him and stopped walking.

 

“No,” He said softly, “No one really sees it. But…” he thought carefully, “Give me your phone.”

 

Louis handed it over and Zayn tapped something out on it, “If you want, next time I go out to paint something, you can tag along again.”

 

“Sure,” Louis said, “I’d like that.”

 

“Good.” Zayn said, giving a small smile, “Good.” He repeated as he continued to walk down the road. Louis followed after him,

 

“Are you going back to your apartment or somewhere else?”

 

Zayn turned to him, “I don’t know, I just go wherever.”

 

“Wherever?”

 

“Yeah,” He smiled, “I’m a night owl. I have most of my classes in the evening anyways so I sleep the day and wonder the night.”

 

“Oh,” Louis said, “Can I tag along?”

 

Zayn’s lips parted before he said, “Yeah, okay.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

They fell back into the silence which both were fine with. Louis stopped and took pictures of anything that interested him or he thought was unique. Zayn didn’t stop but he’d slow his pace so that Louis could easily catch up with him.

 

Finally, they got to a park and Zayn went to the middle. He lay down in the snow and stared up at the dark sky that was starting to lighten.

 

Louis lay down with him, not minding how his back got wet and soaked through the layers of his sweater and t-shirt. Instead, he snapped pictures of the sky and when Zayn wasn’t looking, Zayn’s face.

 

It was an expression that Louis hadn’t seen before. It was pure awe yet at the same time a calm look. You could see little flecks of gold in his brown eyes, as they sparkled slightly, like dusting of the stars had fallen into the normal dark eyes. His face seemed perfectly, his cheekbones perfectly sculpted and his lips were … if possible, perfectly chapped.

 

Louis turned back to the pink sky when Zayn said, “Do you live behind the camera?”

 

“Yes,” Louis said softly, “It’s my home.” He gave a weak smile and Zayn nodded,

 

“What do you normally take pictures of?”

 

“Beautiful things.” Louis said, “Whatever I think is beautiful, I take a picture of.”

 

“So not necessarily what everyone thinks is…”

 

“Exactly,” Louis said, turning to him.

 

Zayn nodded in understanding, “You see beauty in unusual places.”

 

“Do I?” He said teasingly.

 

“You took a picture of me.” He commented, “I’m not beautiful.”

 

Louis looked up to him with amused eyes, “Yes you are,” He said, “You’re like a gift from the heavens.”

 

“Fallen Angel?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Lucifer was a fallen angel you know.”

 

“I’m sure Lucifer was beautiful,” Louis said, “Pity he had to fall.”

 

They stayed in silence for the rest of the time, until the sun came up with a harsh glare when Zayn started to get up slowly. He got onto his feet, offering a hand to Louis.

 

“Are you tired?”

 

“Yes.” Louis admitted.

 

“Let’s get you home, then?” Zayn said, letting the smaller boy lean on him, “Tell me where.”

 

“Mmm,” Louis said, “Just down here.”

 

They walked in silence, Zayn’s arm wrapped around Louis with a thoughtful expression on his face while Louis was looking around lazily at the things he could take a picture of before he fell asleep.

 

Unfortunately, in his foggy state, he didn’t remember them by the time he got home and Zayn helped him crash on the couch. He carefully stepped over Niall who snored and rolled over.

 

He laughed softly as he made his way to the door, only to be stopped by Harry.

 

“Zayn?” He said curiously, “What are you doing here?”

 

“Louis was out with me, and he fell asleep so I thought I should bring him back.” He said, looking down.

 

Harry raised his eyebrows jokingly, “So what? Going to fuck Niall next?”

 

“Who’s going to fuck me next?” Niall said, as he got up, “You stepped on my hand.” He said accusingly to Zayn.

 

“Zayn,” Harry said amused, “He fucked me yesterday and apparently Louis spent the night with him.”

 

“We didn’t do anything,” Zayn insisted, “He just found me…”

 

“Found you?” Niall said, looking at the ground, “What, were you lost?”

 

“No he was out for a stroll and so was I.” Zayn said, “And we found each other and we just stayed out the night. Nothing happened. Why are you jealous Harry?” He shot to the younger, curly haired boy. Niall excused himself and went to the kitchen to start preparing breakfast.

 

“No.” Harry said shortly, “I was just kidding around.” Zayn nodded curtly before turning on his heel and walking away.

 

Harry sighed and went into the kitchen, watching Niall busy himself with the food. He made a plate for himself before nodding to Harry and walking to his own room.

 

He closed the door, put the plate on his desk and slumped forward onto his bed. His food remained untouched while he just sat there in thought. He took out his notebook and pencil before jotting down a few sentences. Then he tucked the book under his sheets again and buried his face into the pillow.

 

Of course Zayn would go for someone like Harry or even Louis. They were perfect… they were beautiful. He never understood why Louis wouldn’t take a picture of himself, if he claimed that he was capturing beauty. He was gorgeous. And Harry? Those dimples and curls would make anyone go mad.

 

But Niall? Niall wasn’t Zayn material. Niall wasn’t pretty… he was just Niall. He’d come to terms with that a long time ago and was trying to accept it but every now and again a boy like Zayn, a pretty boy, would come into his life and Niall would just want, want, _want_ but watched at the sidelines as he got passed over again and again and _again._ He should’ve known better.

 

He took out his phone and cancelled his session with Liam, feeling bad since it was five minutes until it. He hadn’t realized how much he’d slept until he’d woken up.

 

+

 

When Zayn walked into the apartment, he saw Liam lounging on the couch.

 

“Aren’t you supposed to meet Niall today?” He asked as he sat down next to the other boy.

 

Liam shrugged, “Said he wasn’t feeling well or something.”

 

Zayn raised his eyebrow but didn’t say anything. He’s seen Niall a few moments ago and the boy looked fine. Maybe he just didn’t want to do English today. He shrugged before settling into the couch. 

 

“So should I ask where you were last night or do I not want to know?”

 

“I wasn’t partying, I was painting.”

 

“What did you paint?”

 

“A series of words.” Liam raised his eyebrow and Zayn said, “Louis has a picture.”

 

“Why does Louis have a picture?”

 

“Because he stumbled down the tunnel and I let him take a picture.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

They turned back to the television when Zayn rested his head on Liam’s shoulder. Liam wrapped his arm around Zayn, hugging the boy closer to his body while they watched. They stayed like that until Zayn fell asleep when Liam carefully carried the other boy to his room.

 

He laid the covers over him and then went to the kitchen. He checked the calendar on the wall and it read, 22nd December.

 

+

 

When Louis woke, there was an abundance of food on the table.

 

Harry stood in the kitchen, preparing more when Louis walked in.

 

“What’s happening?”

 

“Niall refuses to come out of his room so I’m making as much as I can so that he’ll emerge.”

 

“Is it working?”

 

“Do we have a Niall pestering me for food?” He snorted.

 

“No.”

 

“Then it’s not working.”

 

“Have you tried talking to him?” Harry put down the spoon and faced Louis with a _Really?_ Look.

 

“What do you think my first instinct was?”

 

“All right, sorry,” He said softly. He left Harry to making the food when he went over to the door. He knocked on it before trying to open it. Niall had locked it, of course he had.

 

“Niall I know you’re in there, come out. Tell me what’s wrong.” Louis pleaded with the door.

 

“Please, Louis,” Niall said, softly, resting his head against the door, “Leave me.”

 

Niall leaned against the door, phone in his hands. The caller ID was flashing but he didn’t want to look at the name. He didn’t want to pick up the phone so instead he just threw it onto his bed.

 

“Niall…” Louis said, “Please, open the door.”

 

“I can’t Lou,” Niall said back, “I just can’t.”

 

Louis hung his head in compliance before he went to the kitchen.

 

“He’s not going to emerge.”

 

“Do you know why?”

 

“I have a feeling,” Louis said and Harry waited. But Louis didn’t offer more. He took out his phone and typed out a quick message.

 

**We have more than enough food here, please; we need two more bodies to help clear it up. Bring Liam round? – Louis**

He sent it to Zayn before saying, “I’ve invited Liam and Zayn over because I don’t think we’ll be able to finish this food for months and Niall isn’t emerging so…”

 

“Good idea,” Harry said, “I’ll stop after this dish.”

 

“I’d clock you on the head if you didn’t.” Louis said, taking out some soft drinks. He didn’t think his system could take any more alcohol. He poured it into a glass and started drinking it while he watched Harry walk about the tiny kitchen, adding things to the dish.

 

After a few minutes Harry stopped moving and said, “Do you think this has something to do with Zayn?”

 

“What?” Louis said in confusion.

 

“Well, when Zayn brought you back this morning… I may of suggested that you two did something last night and told Niall that _we,_ as in Zayn and I did something and he got very awkward and flushed and made himself food and locked himself in his room.” He paused, “I’ve been thinking about it all afternoon and I think Niall likes Zayn.”

 

“No shit,” Louis said, “Niall doesn’t get awkward about anything.” He said, “But no, he wouldn’t lock himself in his room about a boy. It could be part of the reason but it’s not the whole reason.”

 

“What is the whole reason?” Harry asked again. And again, Louis offered nothing except to get the door when the doorbell rang.

 

He opened the door, smiling at both of them who awkwardly walked in.

 

“Harry’s on a cooking binge,” Louis said, gesturing to the food, “Can’t get this fool to stop cooking.” Harry laughed as he came out with the last dish,

 

“Help yourselves,” He said as Louis went into the kitchen and brought out the plates and forks.

 

“Where’s Niall?” Zayn asked as he settled down at the table, helping himself to some curry that Harry had made.

 

“He’s not feeling well…” Louis lied, “He’s in his room.”

 

“Shall we bring him something?” Liam asked worriedly, “Do you have any soup or …”

 

“Don’t worry,” Harry said, “He’s not lying in there rotting. We take care of our friends.” He laughed.

 

“I wasn’t imply—” Liam stuttered but Zayn just clapped his hand on his back and said,

 

“Liam’s quiet motherly. He likes to take care of everyone which is exactly why I picked him as my best friend.”

 

Liam turned a shade of red that Louis had only seen on Niall up until now, “Yeah?” He said, wanting to embarrass Liam further to see what other colours he’d turn, “Let’s hear the story!”

 

“Well…” Zayn said, “We were playing football in gym class one day and Liam gets very competitive and one day he shoved me so hard that I fell down. He came up to me and helped me up, profusely apologizing for what he’d done. He looked so upset and he was like, ‘Are you hurt? Oh god I didn’t mean to hurt you that was so mean, I don’t know why I did it! Oh Jesus, I’m so sorry!’ I started laughing at him which made him get all embarrassed like now and after that we’ve been friends he’s been the one taking care of me.”

 

Harry smiled, “That’s cute but it doesn’t beat how I meet Louis.” Louis snorted.

 

“Yeah, how’d you guys meet?” Liam asked, looking back and forth between the two.

 

“Well, I meet him like two months ago when he tried to hit on me in a gay bar on campus.” Louis said, “The first thing he said to me was, ‘Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?’” Louis snorted.

 

“So you two have been together ever since?” Liam said.

 

“Yeah, best friends. Partners in crime.” Harry slung his arm over Louis’s shoulder and grinned, “Couldn’t have asked for a better person.”

 

“Yeah, he eventually got over the fact that I rejected him.” Louis said, ruffling his curls.

 

“How’d you meet Niall?” Zayn asked.

 

“I’ve known Niall since grade school. Harry met Niall like three weeks after I did when I asked him to move in because I couldn’t stand hanging out in the dorms.” Louis wrinkled his nose, “We convinced the dorm advisor to let him stay here and when he walked in to see the place for the first time and told Niall he was moving in, Niall said…”

 

“Can you cook?” Harry smiled, “And when I said, yeah. He said prove it. So I did, I made him lunch or something and when he finished he said, ‘Yeah sure whatever you can move in but you have to do all the cooking because I’m shit and Louis’s worse than shit.’ Then he hopped off the barstool and walked away.”

 

“Harry was speechless.” Louis said, remembering the day, “His mouth was hanging open. It was quiet adorable.” He ruffles his curls again making Harry purr.

 

They all laughed and shared more stories.

 

+

 

Niall could hear them all laughing so he put on his headphones to drown out the noise. His phone wouldn’t stop buzzing so he turned it on silent but the screen kept flashing. He stashed it under books and covers but he kept glancing at it so eventually he took it out and unlocked the door.

 

He took his headphones off and walked into the main room where everyone was eating.

 

“Niall,” Zayn said, smiling at him, “How are you feeling?”

 

Niall just blinked at him before shoving his phone in Louis’s hand and walking away.

 

“D-did I do something?” Zayn said, eyes widening.

 

“No,” Louis said as he glanced at Niall’s phone, “It wasn’t you.” He pocketed it before slowly making a plate for Niall.

 

Zayn stopped him and took the plate from, Louis didn’t protest because he knew it didn’t matter who took him the food, he wouldn’t listen and he wouldn’t eat it. But he just wanted Niall to know that _they cared._

Zayn pushed open the ajar door and closed it behind him. He walked up to the bed where Niall was buried under the covers. He set the food down on the bedside table, noticing the cold plate on the desk.

 

Then he lifted up the covers slightly and crawled underneath. Niall just looked at him with wide eyes but Zayn stayed calm and just sat beside the Irish boy, not doing anything. He just watched the Irish boy’s expression, as it turned from confusion to wonder to curious to eventually not caring at all. Niall stared down at white sheet, tracing a pattern over and over on it.

 

They didn’t talk, they spent the whole night like that, subtle glances up at each other and down at the sheet again. Not a word was uttered.

 

Around dawn, Niall’s eyes started to droop and his head lolled. Zayn carefully tilted the blond boy down onto the bed and ripped the sheets from under them and placed it on top of him. He silently crept out of the room.

 

+

 

Louis and Harry were quiet around each other the next morning, not wanting to wake Niall. Harry tried a few times to get the answer out of Louis, why Niall was acting like this but he refused to say anything.

 

Eventually, Louis got tired of the silence and with Niall’s now dead phone (the batter drained from all the calling) he went down to the café. He spotted Liam in the corner and went up to him.

 

“Care for some company?” He asked as he awkwardly stood there. Liam just looked up from his boo and gestured to the empty space,

 

“Sure.” He said, closing it. Cher brought over Louis’s tea and a plate of waffles.

 

“I’m making a special bag for Niall for you to take,” She said, smiling brightly at Louis.

 

“Thank you Cher.” He said before stopping her half way to the counter, “Cher.” He said, “Stop.” She did, turning around half way and Louis captured that in a picture. She just swatted her hand at him before going behind the counter, a blush running up her cheeks.

 

Louis turned back to Liam, smiling at him, “Can I take a picture of you?” He asked shyly.

 

“Sure,” Liam said, smiling at him and Louis captured that in a picture. He felt his phone ringing so he took it out.

 

 **Lottie** the caller ID read.

 

“I’m sorry, I must take this.” He said as he got up from the booth and went somewhere more private before accepting the call.

 

“Hey, love, what’s up?” He asked softly into the phone.

 

“Louis,” She said, “Come home.”

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“Everything. I miss you.” She said, “Please, just come home.”

 

“Lottie,” He said kindly, “You know I can’t.”

 

“Please, tell Mum what’s happening. I want you home, I miss you so much Louis.” She said, voicing dripping with unhappiness, “I can’t take any more of this picture-perfect family time. It’s not perfect and I’m the only one who knows it.”

 

“If I come back, it’ll be far from perfect.”

 

“With Robbie gone, you, me, mum, Fizz, Phoebe and Daisy, yes, yes it will be perfect.” Lottie said into the phone, “Louis.”

 

“Love,” Louis said, softly, “Don’t tell mom, alright? Everything will be fine. I’ll Skype with you tonight and you can see me, alright?”

 

“Yes, fine. Okay.” She said in a clipped tone, “Bye Louis.”

 

“Lottie don’t be mad—” He got cut off by the dial tone. He sighed before walking back to the table where his tea was getting cold.

 

“Everything okay?” Liam asked, genuinely concerned.

 

“No,” Louis said, looking down.

 

“Well,” Liam said, he could clearly tell Louis was lying but he didn’t want to push it. “If you need to talk to someone, I’m here, alright?”

 

“Yeah,” Louis said, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

 

Liam wrote down his number and slid it across the table, “Seriously, Louis. I know we just met but—”

 

“You’re like a mother, you care for everyone. One hell of a doctor you’ll make.” Louis smiled ruefully.

 

“Actually,” Liam said, “That’s part of it but not the reason.”

 

“What’s the reason, then?” Louis asked, suddenly curious.

 

Liam just smiled and flipped open the book again to continue to read.

 

“Liam, the man of mysteries it seems.”

 

“It would appear so,” Liam said, smiling.

 

Louis kept his camera on the table, taking shots like that. There were a few more of Liam taken, each time he’d glance up in surprise before shrugging and going back to reading whatever had him so intrigued.

 

Liam wrote something down on the piece of paper and the smaller boy leaned over to see what was written but it was written in ‘doctor speak’ so he didn’t understand a word of it. He settled down in his seat and kept sipping his tea and eating the waffles.

 

Louis looked out of the window, remembering the days when he couldn’t sit still, the days when he’d be bouncing off the walls. If he were the Louis from first year, there wouldn’t be a silence between him and Liam. Liam would’ve thrown out the book and they would be coming up with some master scheme. But that Louis was gone, replaced with this one. He wasn’t sure when he’d lost himself, but apparently, what he wished wouldn’t happened, what he promised _wouldn’t_ happen had indeed happened. And he hated himself for it.

 

Liam glanced up at the thinking boy and said, “Are you okay, Louis?”

 

“Me?” Louis said in surprise, “Great, dandy actually. Cher, can I get those waffles now?” He looked back to Liam, “I should really get going, thank you for the company.”  
  
“Wasn’t much.” Liam shrugged, “Sorry.”

 

“I don’t mind at all,” Louis said, “We should do this again sometime.”

 

Liam nodded and watched the brunette take the waffles and leave.

 

+

 

Louis didn’t go home again, instead he climbed up to the top of the science building and stared out into the university. It was beautiful with all its lights and Christmas decorations.

 

Louis fiddled with his phone in his hand for a few moments before dialing a number.

 

“Hello?” The voice on the other end said.

 

“Can you come here?”

 

“Where are you?”

 

“On top of the science building.”

 

“I’ll be right there,” The kind voice promised.

 

Liam arrived within three minutes, standing there shivering. He walked up to Louis said,

 

“You’re not thinking of jumping, are you?”

 

“No,” Louis wrapped his arms around Liam, “No that’s not why I asked you here.”

 

“Why did you ask me here?”

 

“I didn’t want to be alone.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Liam held him in his arms and they settled down on the ground. Louis rested his head in Liam’s neck and breath in the soft scent of him. He felt a little bit better… he felt his sad feelings melt away, replacing them with a small, tiny fire that warmed him to his core. Liam ran his hand up and down Louis’s back, smiling as he rested his head on the feathered boy’s head.

 

Louis looked up at Liam, their faces were inches apart and he swore they were about to kiss when he felt his phone buzz.

 

“Shit…” He said softly, “I have to go.” He looked at his phone. **Harry.**

 

“I’m sorry,” Louis said getting up and helping the other boy up. They stood in front of each other and Liam dipped his head,

 

“Let’s get you home then.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

+

 

When Louis got home, he found Niall sitting at the kitchen table, staring at a blank book. His face was pale, paler than normal and his fingers kept tapping the table.

 

“He’s been like that for an hour, mate,” Harry whispered into Louis ear, “Wouldn’t talk to anyone… or me.” He said looking down, “What do I do?”

 

“Nothing,” Louis said, “Just leave him.” Harry looked at him in surprise and dragged him out into the hallway, shutting the door behind him.

 

“He’s clearly in pain and you just want to do nothing? I did NOTHING yesterday and look how well it’s turned out!” Harry yelled, “We have to help him, take him somewhere or something!”

 

“No we shouldn’t,” Louis insisted, “You don’t know him like I do.”

 

“Well leaving him alone clearly isn’t working!”

 

“Well maybe you shouldn't have gone and slept with a boy he liked!”

 

“How was I supposed to know and you said it wasn’t about that!”

 

“It isn’t but it certainly didn’t help!” Louis yelled back.

 

“Like you didn’t sleep with him too! You were out with him the same night I was!” He yelled back.

 

They went back and forth, yelling at each other, getting louder and louder not realizing that Niall could hear them.

 

Niall walked around the apartment, pulling books and things that were his off the shelves. He threw them against walls and shattered glasses. He ripped pillows and smashed his phone against the floor. He threw his computer at a wall, watching the glass shards come flying at him. He threw dished on the ground and walked barefoot over them. He smashed a glass on his arm, watching the shards go into his skin. He ripped his book into pieces and threw it into the air.

 

Louis and Harry heard the commotion and ran into the apartment as Niall threw up the paper. His face was completely calm and stone cold. Then he picked up his keys and walked out the door, feet and arm bleeding.

 

Louis and Harry chased after him but he disappeared quickly somewhere on campus. They couldn’t reach him and spent all night trying to find him until in the early morning, Zayn called them.

 

“He’s here and he’s okay.” Zayn said, softly into the phone, “Liam cleaned his wounds and stitched everything up.”

 

“Thank God,” Louis breathed into the phone before he ran with Harry to Zayn and Liam’s house.

 

+

 

Zayn got off the phone with the two worried boys and went back to the couch where Niall was sleeping. He slipped under the covers with him and rested the blond boys’ head on his chest. Liam sat curled up in the loveseat with a cup of tea in his hands.

 

He watched Zayn fondly run his hands through Niall’s hair and over his wounds. He’d never seen Zayn so gentle with someone.

 

He got up when he heard rustling at the door opening it so that they wouldn’t have to knock and wake up Niall.

 

The two boys rushed forward and sighed with relief when they saw Niall and Zayn together. Zayn wasn’t asleep yet, but he didn’t acknowledge the two other presences, just kept sorting through Niall’s hair.

 

Liam ushered them into his bedroom, closing the door so that they two boys wouldn’t hear them.

 

“Why did Niall show up at my doorstep with cuts and blood everywhere?” He said it so calmly, not accusing anyone of anything as he looked back and for the between the two boys.

 

Neither of them answered and they sat in silence until Louis finally said, “He snapped.”

 

“Why?”

 

“He’s… he’s hurt.” Louis said carefully, “Something happened a few years ago and Niall was never able to get past it. Every time around this year he’d go into this sort of state but he’d never snap. This year…” he hesitated, “He did.”

 

“What was different about this year that didn’t happen in past?” Liam asked curiously.

 

“I slept with a guy he liked?” Harry added, thinking he’d be helpful but Louis shook his head,

 

“He probably heard Harry and I fighting outside. He… he can’t handle fighting.”

 

“And that snapped him into hurting himself?”

 

“He destroyed all his things.” Louis said, “And in turn, hurt himself too.”

 

Liam just nodded, thinking before saying, “Do you think this will happen again?”

 

“You’re the doctor,” Harry said, “You tell me.”

 

Liam walked over to his books but then he went to the door, “Can you tell me what happened to him that he wasn’t ever able to get past?”

 

“I can’t… sorry.”

 

“You don’t know or you don’t want to tell.”

 

“It’s not my secret to tell,” Louis said, “And I only know a bit of it. He refused to tell me.”

 

He nodded and they walked out into the living room where now Niall and Zayn were sitting up. Niall was clutching a cup of tea in his hands and Zayn had one arm wrapped around him while he was whispering something in his ear. Niall either blinked or nodded in response but Zayn was pretty please. It was better than yesterday when Niall just looked at them like they were all ghosts and then started crying and refused to speak.

 

“Niall,” Liam said gently, sitting at his feet, “How are you?”

 

“Better.” He croaked and Zayn smiled gently at him. “Thank you.” Niall said softly.

 

“You’re welcome.” Liam said, smiling, “I’m always happy to help you, you know that.”

 

Niall just nodded and took a sip of tea.

 

“Can you tell me what happened?” Liam asked, putting his hand on Niall’s knee, before he backtracked, “You don’t have to actually, it was rather nosy of me to ask.”

 

“I-I…” Niall said, clearing his throat and looking at Louis, “Should I?”

 

Louis looked back with sympathetic eyes, “Do whatever makes you feel comfortable. I don’t think Liam, Zayn or Harry will judge. They’re not the type.” He smiled at all of them before looking back at the Irish boy.

 

Niall was silent for a few more minutes before saying, “My mum died when I was 17.”

 

Zayn squeezed him and Louis felt his heart tightened. He missed Maura, she was one of the most wonderful people you’d ever meet.

 

Niall swallowed, “I was in the car with her actually. That day. We were driving to get some food for Christmas. It was… yesterday actually, the day she died.” He went quiet and everyone waited for him to continue, “We were singing to the radio. I can’t remember which song… but she always loved my voice…” His voice faltered and his head drooped, “And I was singing and she turned to me, when we were on the highway and said, ‘Darling you have the most beautiful voice.’ And out of nowhere, this car came from behind and knocked us into the air… I can still feel like.” He shivered, but he continued, “And when the car finally stopped rolling, we were somehow still alive. The person drove off…”

 

He stopped the story, taking in a few deep breaths as tears started to pool out of his eyes, “And… we were still alive, right? So I, I don’t know how much I crawled out from my seat and got to where my mum was. I could reach her hand and I dialed 911. We held hands and she told me to sing to her, she said she wasn’t going to make it but I told her she would. So I sang to her… while moving the piece of the car off of her. She was bleeding, oh there was so much blood!” Niall said, tears falling out of his eyes, out of everyone’s eyes.

 

He gulped before going on, “And I held her in my arms when the paramedics arrive. But she’d already died.” He shivered, “She died in my arms. I held my mum while she died.” He shivered, “It was all my fault.”

 

“No Niall, you weren’t driving, it couldn’t have been.”

 

“I was driving though,” Niall said, “She turned to me and I looked at her and I took my eyes off of the road for a second. A second! And … she’s gone.” He fell back, completely in tears, “And my brother hates me. He can’t stand to be around me, it’s my fault she’s dead and he reminds me every minute. I haven’t been able to go home because now my Dad’s an alcoholic and my brother hates me.” He gulped in air as he tears came running down his cheeks, “I have no family. Everyone hates me.”

 

“Niall,” Liam said, jumping up, “That’s not true! We’re your family. We _love_ you.” He said and they all crowded around him, giving him hug after hug and kisses on the cheek.

 

When they all settled down Niall said, “And when I heard you two fighting yesterday… I just snapped. I was used to that, a few weeks before I went to university, Greg and my Dad would always fight. I’d lock myself in my room to avoid it. After that…” He just trailed off and Zayn hugged him fiercely,

 

“Niall,” he said, “Oh my Niall.”  

 

+

 

They fell asleep, all of their limbs somehow tangled with one another. Louis didn’t even wake to his phone ringing which he usually did. Harry rolled over and pressed a kiss into Louis forehead before falling asleep again. Liam’s arm tightens around Louis and Zayn subconsciously pressed Niall closer into his chest as he slept, not wanting to lose the blond boy.

 

+

 

When they did finally rise, it was well into Louis’s birthday, at least 3pm.

 

“Happy Birthday, Louis,” Niall said softly, hugging him.

 

“Thank you,” He smiled, accepting wishes from the sleepy boys.

 

“Tonight,” Harry yawned, “We’ll do something. We still have plenty of food from a few days ago and someone will get a cake. Are you up to a party? Or a relaxed party?” Harry asked both Louis and Niall who nodded.

 

“Anything for Louis’s birthday.” Niall said, hugging him again.

 

“We should go now,” Louis said, taking the medicine for Niall from Liam, “Thank you for this.”

 

“Yeah, thank you.” Niall said, hugging Liam again before disappearing after Harry and Louis.

 

Zayn watched him go and Liam put his hand on his shoulder.

 

“You can’t fix him,” Liam said to him.

 

“I don’t want to fix him, I just want to hold him together until he can do it himself. Or be a helping aid.” Zayn said and Liam was surprised by the sudden honesty, “There’s something about him. I can’t shake it.” He smiled at the ground, “Why do you think I came around your tutoring sessions, did you really think I was that bored?”

 

“Then why did you hook up with Harry?” Liam asked.

 

“I thought it might get his attention.”

 

“You’re shit at this.”

 

“So are you,” Zayn said patting him on the back, “It’s not like I couldn’t tell that you liked Louis.”

 

“Yeah, so?” Liam said, turning to go to his room, “Maybe we’re both shit at this.”

 

+

 

In the evening, the five of them were sprawled out on the ground, eating leftovers and talking. They shared silly things about themselves, trying to rid themselves of the tense and sad atmosphere that was surrounding them before. Niall was even starting to get back into his normal behavior, smiling and making crude comments at things. It was subtle but Louis was grateful for the try.

 

At around 10pm, the doorbell ran and Louis got up to answer it.

 

There stood Lottie, with a massive bruise around her eye. She looked up at Louis with pleading eyes as he let in her.

 

“Lottie,” He said in horror as he picked her up and took her to the main room, “What happened to you?”

 

Liam ran to his coat, taking out something for the bruise.

 

“Robbie hit me.” She whispered into Louis’s chest as she hugged him.

 

“What?” He said eyes flashing with anger, “Why?”

 

“I don’t know,” She whimpered, “Ever since you’ve been going to school… he’s started to drink. He and Mum have been fighting and …”

 

“Has he hurt her?” Louis said, “How many times has he hurt you?”

 

“A few. And no, he never hurt Mum.”

 

“Lottie why didn’t you tell me?” He said hugging her again, “Lottie…”

 

“I just thought if I could convince you to come home then you’d see.” She said, “I also thought he’d stop. They hadn’t fought for a few weeks and it was rare that he’d throw one of us into the wall. It was usually our fault, if we were in the way.”

 

“You’re fault?” Niall said, sitting with Lottie, “Darling, you’re a child, nothings your fault.”

 

“Louis I’m scared. I hopped onto the first train, tonight was bad. I was able to cover it up but I took off the makeup when I got here so that you’d let me in.”

 

“I’d let you in regardless,” Louis said, kissing her forehead, “We need to get everyone out, now.” He said, jumping up and grabbing his coat.

 

“Niall, stay here with Lottie, Robbie never liked you I don’t think it would be a good idea to bring you.” Louis said, making an excuse for why Niall had to stay there. He wasn’t sure Niall was stable enough to take with him and luckily Niall didn’t protest.

 

Zayn looked torn between leaving Niall and going with them but in the end he went with Louis and Liam. Harry stayed behind with Lottie because he too wasn’t sure of Niall’s stability.

 

They got on the train to Doncaster and planned what they were going to do when they got there.

 

+

 

The burst through the door of the Tomlinson house, just to see Robbie throw Jay into a table.

 

“MUM!” Louis ran for her but Robbie tossed him aside. Liam was enraged as he walked up to the man and punched him.

 

Robbie went staggered back a few feet while Zayn helped up Mrs. Tomlinson and urged her towards the door.

 

“We’ll get the twins and Daisy,” Louis promised as Jay went outside and Louis held his bleeding nose.

 

“Go grab them,” Zayn said to Louis, “We’ll take care of Robbie.”

 

“How dare you come back here, you fairy!” Robbie screamed at Louis as Liam threw another punch which he dodged, “And bring your queer ass friends too.” He threw Liam back just as Zayn kicked him in the balls.

 

“No one hurts my family,” he glowered at Robbie before punching him.

 

Louis grabbed the girls before running downstairs with them and grabbing Liam and Zayn too. They made their escape out the door where Jay was standing, shivering the cold.

 

They grabbed her and ran.

 

+

 

When they got to the train station, Louis bought them all coffees and hot chocolates. They boarded the train in silence, Jay was trying to hold her tears while Zayn and Liam held the twins.

 

“Mum…” Louis said softly to her, he’d never seen her so broken before. She rested her hand on his leg and looked out the window, not saying anything.

 

‘Give her time’ Liam mouthed to him before turning back to Fizz and continuing singing a lullaby to her.

 

Louis reached out and held Liam’s free hand, squeezing it as he fell asleep.

 

+

 

Liam woke him when they got back to London station. They were still all silent as they travelled to the apartment, the twins were sleeping and Zayn and Liam were being careful as to not to wake them. Jay was lost in thought and Louis was wondering what would happen now.

 

They got back to the apartment, Niall was drinking hot chocolate and so was Harry. Lottie was asleep on the couch and Jay ran to her, kissing her forehead.

 

“Mama?” She blinked open her eyes.

 

“Yes, yes I’m here.” She said, crying, “Oh love, I was so worried.”

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“Aren’t I supposed to be asking you that?” Jay gave a little laugh, “I’m alright but you’re not.” She said tracing the outline of the bruise.

 

“I’m okay now that you’re okay.” She said, getting up from the couch, “Lou can I sleep in your bed?”

 

“Of course,” Louis said, “Niall, will you take her and the twins?”

 

“Of course,” Niall said, picking up Lottie though she was too big to be carried, not that either one was complaining. Zayn and Liam followed wordlessly and Harry gave Jay a kiss on the cheek before going to his own room.

 

Jay and Louis stood there and he motioned for her to follow him into the kitchen. It was 3am but it didn’t matter to either of them, instead, he made two cups of tea and gave her one.

 

“I have so much to tell you,” Louis said, “And I need my mum’s advice about something.” He started off with their old routine, the only they did when they talked together late at night.

 

Jay smiled, happy that the events of tonight were going to be set-aside for now.

 

“What is it darling?” She asked just as the boys came into the kitchen.

 

“We’re going to go back to our place,” Liam said, rubbing his eyes.

 

“Thank you,” Jay said, “For tonight.” She hugged and kissed both of them, making them blush.

 

“Yes,” Louis said, “Thank you. It means the world to me that you’d help.”

 

“Like we said to Niall,” Liam said, “We’re family now.” Louis grabbed him and hugged him, resisting the urge to kiss him on those beautiful lips that spun words into gold. Maybe he was just tired.

 

He hugged Zayn too, though there was no desire for him to kiss him.

 

Before the raven-haired boy left he said, “I have a piece of work in mind, maybe whenever you’re free, you can come by and watch me paint it. In my studio of course.”

 

“I’d love too,” He smiled as he shut the door and returned to his Mum in the kitchen.

 

“So?” She said, “What do you want to talk about…”

 

“I like someone… but I’m not sure…”

 

“What do you feel?”

 

“I don’t know, I can’t really describe it. I’ve felt like this ever since I met him, which wasn’t until a few days ago. He’s sweet… kind… motherly. But there’s something about him… so genuine that I just want to take and hold it between my hands and I feel like he’d let me but I don’t know if that’s just because we’re friends or…”

 

Jay smiled at her confused boy, “If he’d let you take him and wreck him and deal with the famous Tomlinson drama that you’ve kept locked up for so long,” Louis raised his eyebrow, “Yes I’ve notice you’ve become quieter. I thought you were maturing until tonight when I found out why you’re so quiet lately.” She stopped, “I’m sorry.” She said before continuing with her pervious thought, “But if he’d let you do that, I’m sure it’s not just because you’re friends.”

 

“He doesn’t know about the Tomlinson drama.”

 

“But he’s seen enough tonight to not going running.” She said thoughtfully as she took a sip.

 

“Don’t speak to soon.” Louis said, emptying his mug in the sink and taking his mothers before he led her to the room where the girls were sleeping. They all slipped under the covers to the way to small bed and fell asleep.

 

+

 

“Merry Christmas!” Niall beamed when they woke up and all of them staggered to the living room. It was 2pm and Niall was wearing a Santa hat and the biggest grin of all. Louis shot him a questioning look and he whispered in his ear,

 

“I’ve got to pull myself together. And we can’t have Christmas ruined.”

 

Louis nodded, suddenly realizing all the presents under their makeshift tree.

 

“What…?” He asked in surprise.

 

“Why do you think we didn’t wake you for so long?” Liam and Zayn came out of the kitchen with food, “We had to prepare Christmas! And it seems Santa came last night!” Liam winked at Louis and Louis felt his heart beat a bit faster. 

 

“Ho! Ho! Ho!” Niall said as they twins ran to the couch with Lottie and Daisy. They sat and the boys pulled up a makeshift (everything was makeshift this year, Louis internally laugh) table and set down the food.

 

Jay sat on the love seat and Niall, Louis, Harry, Liam and Zayn all sat on the ground, eating and drinking and smiling and laughing like nothing had happened last night. It was best to leave that to the adults.

 

When they were finished their breakfast, and all the dishes were away, Zayn said, “Who’s ready for some presents?”

 

“Me!” The twins screamed, “ME! ME! ME!” Lottie settled them and Daisy sat in Niall’s lap, reaching up and playing with his hair while he laughed and swung her around slightly.

 

“Alright, Daisy you going to help me figure out who should open their present first?” Niall asked as he put the Santa hat back on. Daisy nodded and reached for a gift.

 

“Louis!” She squeaked out and Louis said,

 

“We’ll do the adults presents last, let’s open something else.” Niall nodded and handed Daisy another gift to read out the name.

 

“Fizz!” She squeaked and Fizz greedily took the gift.

 

Gift after gift was unwrapped, Louis was unsure of how Liam, Zayn, Niall and Harry knew what to do but they got it to the T.

 

Once all but the adults gifts were unwrapped, the girls were feeling hungry so Harry started preparing some dinner while everyone sat around the tree and talked.

 

The twins had taken a liking to Zayn so Lottie had carefully sat beside Liam, talking to him about intelligent things that Louis could not comprehend. So instead, he settled down beside her mother, curling up into a little ball by her side.

 

She kissed his forehead, admiring at everyone’s grace and how well everything was going… despite everything else.

 

“You have an amazing family here in London,” Jay said to him.

 

“I do,” Louis smiled, “I really do.”

 

+

 

They didn’t get to open each others’ gift until after the girls had gone to sleep. So they were quiet but Louis felt guilty that he had nothing to give to the other’s while they gave him gift after gift.

 

He got albums from Zayn, somewhere to put all his developed pictures.

 

He got some more film from Niall which he knew was expensive and way out of Niall’s budget.

 

He got three new pairs of Toms from Harry, all in the colours he didn’t have.

 

And from Liam he got a necklace with a Camera charm on it.

 

“Niall told me it would be a good idea!” He blushed when Louis opened it and stared in awe.

 

“It’s perfect! Thank you!” He said, tackling him with a hug.

 

“You’re welcome,” He smiled.

 

“Sorry I don’t have anything for you guys,” he said, “I was going to do shopping but…”

 

“Don’t worry about it mate,” Niall said, waving his hand, “You here and your family safe is the best present any of us could get.”

 

“Yeah,” Harry said, “That’s all that matters.”

 

Louis started to tear up and gave them all a hug each.

 

Then they exchange presents among themselves, grinning because they knew what each other had gotten them.

 

Niall got a new computer from Zayn, some new notebooks from Liam and Harry had gotten all of Niall’s books replaced.

 

Zayn had gotten brushes from Niall, more paint from Harry and beauty products from Liam who just laughed.

 

Liam got a dictionary from Niall (inside joke apparently), a ‘How do be a good doctor for dummy’s’ book from Harry and gift certificate for a tattoo parlor from Zayn. (Apparently he’d wanted to get one for a while but was too chicken. This gift certificate had an expiry date).

 

They stayed up well into the 26th laughing and talking and swapping stories on each other. Jay proceeded to tell them all the adorable and embarrassing stories of Louis until Louis ushered everyone out.

 

“Thank you,” Louis said hugging Liam, “For the gift it is wonderful.” He was wearing it around his neck already and Liam was blushing mad.

 

“Of course,” he said, “I’m glad you liked it.”

 

“Thank you for your present too,” Louis said to Zayn hugging him, “And I’ll stop by the studio tomorrow to watch you paint, text me the address, yeah?”

 

“Course,” He smiled as he and Liam headed down the stairs.

 

Louis and Jay were both so tired that they didn’t bother talking, instead they went straight to bed.

 

+

 

The next morning, the house was oddly quiet when Louis woke. He checked Harry and Niall’s room but they were empty and the girls were no where to be seen. Jay was sitting with a cup of tea in her hands when Louis went in.

 

“Harry and Niall have taken the girls to the park so we can talk.” She said as she got up to make him some tea. Louis sat down, listening.

 

“So after the break,” She said, “I was thinking about this last night and this morning,” She added, “We will live in Cheshire with my mom. It’s too risky going back to Doncaster and the girls can enroll in the public school. I’ll file for divorce and get a job while I’m there.” She said, “I don’t think I’ll be able to support everyone in London, though, it’s far to pricey.” She said.

 

Louis nodded, “No that makes sense. I think Harry’s from Cheshire… Holmes Chapel so maybe he can help a bit too yeah?”

 

“Yeah,” She said but then she turned to him and said, “But I can’t really help pay for university. You’re on a half scholarship which is wonderful but I don’t know how much we can contribute now that Robbie is out.”

 

“Alright,” He said, dismissing it, “No worries, I’ll find a job here too. I’ll start looking for places where I can work now and where I can work in the future too.”

 

“This is a lot, I want you to focus because your field is one of the most challenging ones out there.” She said, sighing, “I’m so sorry Louis.”

 

“No Mum,” He said hugging her, “I am. I am.” He whispered as he clutched her tight.

 

+

 

Later that day, he went down to Zayn’s studio. Zayn let him in and he lay on the floor, not really doing anything while he listened to Zayn hum and the brush strokes against the canvas.

 

“Do you love Niall?” He said suddenly to Zayn. Zayn froze and said,

 

“I think so.”

 

“You better know,” Louis said, but not rudely, just thoughtfully, “Because he’s my brother and he’s been through a lot and I can’t have you hurting him.”

 

“I would never intend too.”

 

“That car never intended to hurt them. But it did.” He pointed out and Zayn said,

 

“I don’t want to break him, I want to help fix him.”

 

“Okay, good.” Louis said, satisfied with the answer. He turned back to the ceiling and thought some more.

 

After an hour, Zayn said, “Are you in love with Liam?”

 

“What? Why would you say that?”

 

“I was honest with you, Louis, now it’s your turn to be honest with me.”

 

Louis hesitated before saying, “I don’t know. I think so.”

 

“You better know.” He said but he wasn’t mocking Louis, “He’s my brother too. I don’t want anything or anyone to hurt him. He’s fragile and he may give you his all because he sees the good in everyone. Never the bad. He hasn’t seen it like you or me or Niall has.”

 

“You?”

 

“Long story, nothing to get into.” Zayn said, “It’s all in the past. But you and Liam aren’t.”

 

“And neither are you and Niall.”

 

“So we’ll both take care of them because they’re our family.” Zayn decided.

 

“Yeah.” Louis said, “Family.”

 

+

 

When Louis arrived back at the flat, Liam was sitting outside. Niall rushed through the door, with a massive bag, almost hitting both of them, apologizing and was off again.

 

“That was weird,” He said as he made his way to the door but Liam caught this arm.

 

“I was wondering, actually, if we could go on a walk?”

 

“Sure,” Louis said, turning around and walking down the stairs with him, “Where too?”

 

“Anywhere, I just wanted to talk to you.”

 

“Sounds serious.”

 

“It is… well… it’s not but it is.”

 

“Please elaborate, Liam,” Louis smiled.

 

“So um, I don’t know why but ever since the café… oh god I’m going to say the wrong thing but ever since the café I’ve felt something towards you.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah and I’m not sure what it is… I’m not sure if it’s even worth exploring but all I know is that I kind of… I kind of really want you.”

 

Louis stopped in his tracks and Liam turned bright red, “OH GOD I’ve made this awkward haven’t I. shit I knew I should’ve kept my mouth shut.”

 

“You want me?” Louis said slowly, “You want me?”

 

“Yeah…” Liam blushed and looked at the ground. Louis tugged him forward and said,

 

“I have these feelings too… you know. I don’t know what they are but… if you’re feeling them too then maybe we can explore them, together.”

 

“Yeah?” Liam said, “Even with everything that’s going on? Even with all your family?”

 

“Yeah,” Louis said blinking, “I’m tired of being alone. Let’s explore these feelings together.”

 

Liam carefully brushed his hand against Louis’s cheek, cupping it slightly as he leaned forward. Louis took a careful step forward, meeting Liam’s lips half way in a chaste kiss. Not finding it awkward at all, Louis pressed his body against Liam’s before poking his tongue out.

 

Liam slowly opened his mouth and they explored one another, carefully, slowly, quietly. They were both unsure but the only thing they knew was that this… whatever it was, it felt right.

 

And that made Louis feel better.

 

+

 

Niall arrived at Zayn’s studio, holding the bag.

 

“I have all the pictures,” He said, “Each printed.”

 

“Good,” Zayn said taking the bag. Niall was about to leave when he said, “Do you to stay?”

 

Niall looked at him with surprise and nodded, “Okay.”

“I don’t want to work alone tonight,” Zayn said, “And with more hands we’ll be done sooner.”

 

“Don’t blame me if I mess it up.” Niall said, giving him a small smile.

 

“You’re a writer and that makes you an artist.” Zayn said, “You couldn’t mess it up even if you tried.”

 

Niall smiled and they spread them out all over the floor. Then they carefully glued each other picture together and then pasted them in the groups of three or four to the canvas. They did it all in silence, but there were small brushes of skin and smiled exchanged which made them each feel a little less lonely.

 

By the end of the night and closer to dawn, they finished. Niall was covered in glue, somehow managing to get it from head to toe. Zayn helped the Irish boy pick it off his skin before he reached his fingers up to Niall’s face. He lifted up his chin so that Niall was looking in his eyes before he slowly moved in, kissing him.

 

Niall melted forward, kissing Zayn back softly before breaking apart.

 

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that,” Zayn said, smiling at him.

 

“Me too.” Niall said, leaning in for another kiss.

 

+

 

Louis walked down the stairs of Liam’s apartment with Liam hand in his. They walked got to the end and Louis turned Liam around, bringing his lips to Louis’s. Liam smiled into the kiss before breaking away and said,

 

“We need to get to the studio, Zayn gets angry when we are late.”

 

“Oh whatever,” Louis laughed, “He has Niall to keep him company.”

 

“A lot more then some idle chit chat.” Liam laughed aiming the spark in his boyfriends’ eyes. “I love that.”

 

“Love what?” Liam grabbed the camera from Louis and started running. He turned around and took a picture of Louis and his grin that was about to stretch his face.

 

“That.” He said, finally handing over the camera when he got to the studio. Louis just hit him but didn’t delete the picture as they walked up the stairs to the studio and let themselves in.

 

They walked in, not seeing anyone until they heard an, “OUCH! Lou for gods sake don’t step on me.”

 

“What are you doing down there Niall?” Louis asked, peering down. Zayn tugged Liam down and Niall and Harry tugged Louis down.

 

“Look up.” He said, gesturing to the ceiling.

 

There hung the canvas that Niall and Zayn had glued all of Louis’s best (in their opinion) pictures too. There were the first ones of Liam, there were ones of Niall, Zayn, Harry… even Cher. And then different people from around town, monuments, anything and everything.

 

Written on top with a clear-whitish liquid where you can still see the pictures but also the writing, was the word **FAMILY** and then all their names connected to one another.

 

“Like the painting you did in the tunnel that night!” Louis said, grinning.

 

“Yeah except this means something more.” Zayn said, “And it’s all yours.”

 

“It’s beautiful.” Louis said, taking one of Niall’s hands and one of Harry’s. Niall took Zayn’s and Zayn took Liam’s. They all lay like that, staring up at the painting, pointing out different pictures and talking about different events.

 

“Thank you for doing this,” Louis said, “But why?”

 

“Because you take pictures of beautiful things so I’ve created a world of beauty. Liam gave me the idea once for a painting but I could never put it together so … I roped Niall in.” Niall grinned happily.

 

They didn’t leave that night, just stayed locked together.

 

+

 

The next day, when Niall woke up, he found Zayn in the kitchen, puttering around making breakfast.

 

He smiled when he saw his boyfriend, wrapping his arms around his naked torso and kissing the dip in his shoulder.

 

“Hi Niall,” Zayn said softly as he put the plate down. “I have something for you.”

 

“What?” Niall said excitedly, “Food?”

 

“More than food,” Zayn said, twisting around and smiling at him. He kissed him lightly before slipping out of the embrace.

 

He left Niall standing there, confused in the kitchen as he stood there.

 

Zayn appeared a few seconds later with a box. He put it into his hands and said,

“Open it.”

 

Niall lifted the velvet box and saw a necklace in there. It was a folded up heart, with lines going through it.

 

“The lady at the store told me it was a paper heart, you know a charm for writers.” Zayn said softly “I thought you might like it.”

 

“Put it on me, yeah?” Niall said, looking up and tears threatened to fall from his eyes, “Please?”

 

“You like it?”

 

“I love it,” He said taking it out of the box. Zayn unclasped it and put it around the Irish boy. Niall turned to him and kissed him.

 

“I haven’t gotten anything to give you…” He said worriedly.

 

“You’re all I need,” Zayn said, smiling and swinging him around, playing with the charm with one hand. “You’re all I’ll ever need.”

 

Niall kissed him again, holding Zayn close and holding his hand that held the charm and in turn, held Zayn’s heart.  

 

+

                                                                                                             

Life was different from that day onwards. Liam and Louis found little escapes in different places, going on dates and studying together. Sometimes they’d just sit in the café, two seats down from everyone and just be together.

 

Louis’s family was happy in Cheshire, the girls were happy in school and Jay was working at a bank, making enough money to support themselves and even a little left over for Louis. Louis always tried to give it back but Jay would give it to Niall or Harry who’d put it into Louis’s bank account the next day. All things considered, they were getting along. Things were going back to normal.

 

Niall and Zayn sought refuge in Zayn’s studio where Niall had his books. He’d sit and write about whatever came to mind (usually a mysterious boy) while Zayn would capture the different faces of Niall Horan. They sought kissed under dark, starlight skies.

 

Louis watched Zayn paint sometimes, when Niall and Liam would be off doing English or in the middle of the night. It was their thing, the middle of the night paintings and photographs, something that Liam and Niall were careful not to intrude upon.

 

Harry floated around, dating guy to girl not caring what anyone thought. He was still Louis’s partner in crime, they had more fun now that weights had seemingly disappeared from Louis. They messed around at his work (he was working at a coffee shop while Harry took up a job at the bakery and slipped his wages into Jay’s pocket every time she visited from Cheshire). He and Niall got along great, going for movies and cooking non-stop. Zayn and Harry (both art majors) even compared work even though their styles were totally different.

 

Life was busy, tough. Their relationships weren’t perfect.

 

Niall still had days when he’d break down and cry, Zayn would piece him back together again. Some days’ Zayn would throw a canvas at a wall and get so frustrated and angry that only Niall could calm him down. They fought over silly things and threw words around carelessly. But at the end of the night, they’d crawl back to each other and use soothing words and kisses to makeup for it. There was love in there, both of them possessed a burning desire for each other and it was a flame that wouldn’t or couldn’t go out.

 

Liam and Louis were a different couple, words were used carefully when they fought which made the scars deeper. Liam would sometimes rant about Med school and Louis would be the one to calm him down or Louis would complain that his boss was a total and utter cunt and Liam would just laugh and listen to whatever story. But again, at the end of the night, they’d curl up beside each other, holding each other carefully and loving with all their might.

 

They were two broken people and three strong people who held them all together. Harry at the sidelines, waiting to swoop in when the other wasn’t enough, Zayn piecing Niall back together while Niall polished the broken pieces of Zayn and Liam helping Louis through everything.

 

They weren’t perfect; no one expected them to be. They were family after all. 

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is greatly appreciated! :) 
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you!!


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